can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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