i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
