So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
