i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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