dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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