Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize