and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
