i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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