I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize