My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
