this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
