do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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