From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
