u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Randomize
