uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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