Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
