So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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