Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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