exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
