Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I think I just sharted jello shots
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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