Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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