from now on my penis is your penis
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
