well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
