please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
