toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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