Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone

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(845): View more from New York

i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart

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(810): View more from Michigan

I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.

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(813): View more from Florida

from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick

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(631): View more from New York

i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture

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(916): View more from California

Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be

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(707): View more from California

Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are

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