You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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