Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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