stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
