What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
