He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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