Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
