I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
