he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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