At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
NoShamevember. You game?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
