is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
