He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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