So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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