ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
