i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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