when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think my moral compass just broke
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
