even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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