Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
