Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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