I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
