Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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