He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
