i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
