I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
