At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
