Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
