FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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