Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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