Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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