eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
