I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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