eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize