Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
