yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
